like normal jam, only better
fic: as pleasures are wont 
03 09 09
phantomjam: (Morgana - grace)
Title: As Pleasures Are Wont
Rating: R
Pairing: Uther/Morgana
Word count: 673
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None
Summary: Morgana's visions, like her desires, are tangled things.
A/N: Written for [livejournal.com profile] shantirosa, because she's awesome.


Morgana’s dreams are not linear; they do not parade before her in neat lines and traceable pathways – they twist and writhe, treacherous and ever-shifting, one scene bleeding into another into another like a tangled thread of half-painted memories. It’s worse in some ways than seeing nothing at all: she may live in the present and dream in the future but she has no idea how to bridge the gap between the two, how to change what she sees or how to make it come to pass; dreams admit no room for cause and effect. She wakes each morning with cold sweat damp in her hair and uncertainty spiking like acid in her breast, and the frustration burns in her – she will not stand to be helpless but she cannot deny that she is. The knowledge seethes like a cancer under her skin; it is bitterly ironic but the future is out of her grasp, and the more she reaches for it the more it slips away.

Sometimes, though, it offers her a choice.

The first time Morgana dreams about herself is unsettling – she can see her own body stretched taut and naked across the crimson sheets, see Uther’s hand twisted in the thick, dark fall of her hair, all as though she’s someone else, a mere observer, but she can also feel his hand sliding up her thigh, warm and calloused, dragging against her skin. It lasts only a moment and then between one breath and the next everything is dropping away, swirling past her in a torrent of sensations that she can barely distinguish.

The kiss of leather lingers against her lips; Uther holds her hand in both of his, smiling, and the weight of a crown sits cool at her brow – people are clapping; iron shackles bite and chafe at her wrists in the gloom of a dungeon; she lifts a goblet to Uther’s mouth and he drinks, his eyes on hers, dark and unreadable; Camelot is spread out before her in a vista of blasted ruins; Uther’s tongue pushes into her mouth and he tastes of wine; a snatch of conversation: ‘-aid they her saw her leave this morning with enough supplies for a week on the road. Sire, she’s go-’; the wood of the chopping block is rough under her neck and the headsman’s axe whistles as it falls; she peels off the supple leather and sucks two of Uther’s fingers into her mouth, slow and deliberate, and his sharp intake of breath fires her blood; Uther’s blood soaks wet and heavy through the sheets and she dresses unhurriedly, a warm pulse of satisfaction low in her stomach.

There’s more, much more, but she can’t remember any of it. What she remembers most vividly is that first momentary tableau – the obscene curl of her body, one leg over Uther’s scarred hip as he presses her down, teeth set against the curve of her neck where her head is thrown back in wanton pleasure; she can still feel the solid weight of him between her thighs when she wakes.

The dream pursues her for days, coiling hotly in her abdomen and making her restless until finally Uther calls on her to dine with him as he sometimes does. She sits at one end of the long, smooth-grained table and he sits at the other, a careful partition of dishes lined up between them. They talk of inconsequential things and jest like old friends but very different thoughts flicker in Morgana’s mind – she takes a sip of her wine and reflects that it had tasted better in Uther’s mouth. She watches the curl of his lips as he speaks and wonders: if she were to pull him close and lick that wine-dark smudge from the corner of his mouth, if she were to touch him and taste him and offer herself up to him, which future it would bring?

She remembers blood and ruin, tangled sheets and shackles and a crown and wonders if it’s a choice she dares to make.
Comments 
03 09 09 (UTC)
ext_11631: (Default)
Good lord, this is fabulous.
03 09 09 (UTC)
Thank you! ♥
03 09 09 (UTC)
OMG I THINK I LOVE YOU. I was JUST thinking today that I want to read some Uther/Morgana, because I find the scenes where Uther just dines on a long table with Morgana and she's in this ridiculously low-cut dress to be highly disturbing, and then you come up with this and GUH.

<3
03 09 09 (UTC)
Thank you! Obviously I just telepathically knew that and that's why I posted ;D

Uther/Morgana is such an awesomely kinky ship - there's practically canon dungeon porn, what more could you want?
03 09 09 (UTC)
ext_17485: (Default)
Oh, that was gorgeous. V hot, and the imagery rocked.
03 09 09 (UTC)
Thank you so much, glad you liked it!
03 09 09 (UTC)
Of course I couldn't resist some Uther/Morgana. And I wasn't disppointed. This was very hot and beautifully written ♥

(And I have to use my Uther icon even though your fic doesn't give me a reason to glare disapprovingly :-D )
03 09 09 (UTC)
Thank you! Who can resist the Uther/Morgana? It's the gloves, I think; mmm, yes.

Hahaha Uther icons rule! I have way too many because, you know, I might be slightly obsessed with him. Maybe. Just a little.
03 09 09 (UTC)
sandrine: (Default)
This is amazing! ♥
03 09 09 (UTC)
Thank you! :D
03 09 09 (UTC)
I may - ahm - love you. This is brilliant. Your prose is just fantastic. I love this image especially: "coiling hotly in her abdomen and making her restless".
03 09 09 (UTC)
Thank you so much, glad you liked it!

(btw - you make awesome icons ♥)
03 09 09 (UTC)
Thank you. :D

You make awesome fic, so I feel very happy I can contribute icons.
03 09 09 (UTC)
Oh, this was absolutely beautiful. The turmoil is so wonderful. I love fics that tackle her visions and you did this brilliantly. I love the non-linearness of it, the way she can still feel Uther when she wakes up, the way that the memory of her pleasure at Uther's hands overpowers all the bad visions, and the dinner scene was perfection. The imagery of her visions made them all the more vivid in my head. This fic was so, so wonderful, loved it!
03 09 09 (UTC)
Thank you so much! Morgana's visions really fascinate me; I can't help wondering what they must be like to experience. Really, really disconcerting, I guess ;)

Glad you liked it ♥
03 09 09 (UTC)
I really liked this!! At first, when I was reading it in the present, I was a bit wary, but then it is SO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I re-read it again when I finished XD I like how the dream bits keep jumping back aqnd forth, well, like, flashing all over the place :):) I think this twin says what I thought! Only imagine more squeeage and constant high-pitched noises of EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
03 09 09 (UTC)
Ha, thank you! I like writing fanfic in present tense - it flows nicely; more vivd or something. And yay for visions of doom and destruction!

THAT ICON IS SO CUTE! :DDD
03 09 09 (UTC)
laksalks. awesome. with sauce. o.o
love the imaginery, this is hot and awesome, and i don't think i can desribe it anyother way LOL.

She remembers blood and ruin, tangled sheets and shackles and a crown and wonders if it’s a choice she dares to make.


and, this lines are simply too much love, cause they are just grogeous:

dreams admit no room for cause and effect [...] she will not stand to be helpless but she cannot deny that she is.
03 10 09 (UTC)
Thank you so much! Glad you liked it ♥
03 10 09 (UTC)
Oh wow. Really, really enjoyed this. The futures and the dreamscape and the waking up with the weight of him between her thighs... Great. I really loved the thought of which actions will bring which futures.

Lovely.

...Also, this comment box is all swirly and stuff, and it's awesome.
03 11 09 (UTC)
Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it ♥

Haha, this new layout is really growing on me - the swirls are definitely winning me over.
03 10 09 (UTC)
ext_3167: Happiness is a dragon in formaldehyde  (Default)
She remembers blood and ruin, tangled sheets and shackles and a crown and wonders if it’s a choice she dares to make.

That is *very* intense.
03 11 09 (UTC)
Thank you so much! :D
03 10 09 (UTC)
Oh, that was wonderful! I read it twice already. :)
03 11 09 (UTC)
Thank you! Glad you liked it :D
03 11 09 (UTC)
ext_2955: black and white photo of flying birds and a lamp-post (Default)
Beautiful. I love how you write the dream shifting realities so smoothly, making dream-sense.
03 13 09 (UTC)
Thank you! I like writing Morgana's dreams - there's just something nice and ephemeral about it (even if, you know, it's all about the ruin of Camelot ;D)
03 21 09 (UTC)
Wow. That was simply amazing. It was a brilliant glimpse into Morgana's psyche, and your language was beautifully vivid.
03 28 09 (UTC)
I have no idea why I didn't read this earlier.

Anyway, this was really beautiful and hot. I love how you write Morgana's visions. And I am completely jealous of your prose, because it is GOOD.

Loved this. :)
04 17 09 (UTC)
This is great. I love your writing style and the images you've woven into this are intense.
04 19 09 (UTC)
Thank you very much ♥
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