fic: Black Tide At MIdnight

[phantomjam]

Title: Black Tide At Midnight
Rating: PG
Pairing: None, gen
Warnings: None
Spoilers: 1x08 'The Beginning of the End
Summary: Mordred calls to him all through the night but Merlin does not break
A/N: Last week's merlin_las entry, with the prompt being to write an AU. Naturally I didn't think about writing fluffy modern Merlin/Arthur AU. Oh no, I thought 'I know, what a perfect excuse to try my hand at creepy angsty gen!' *facepalm*

 

Black Tide At Midnight

Mordred’s voice is a knife in Merlin’s mind, cold and invasive, the chill of ice slicing his thoughts so that he cannot think or hear or see beyond that one command: ‘Come.’ He tosses and turns restless on his bed, hands pressed to his ears to hold back the crushing tide of soundless noise. He’s not sure whether he’s trying to block it out or keep it in – stop the resonance from bursting outwards and shattering his skull the way he feels it must if it doesn’t stop soon.

‘I don’t want to die,’ Mordred says, and the voice in Merlin’s mind is stripped down now, vulnerable; it crawls behind Merlin’s eyes. ‘Emrys,’ it begs, ‘Emrys, please.’ It sounds so heartbreakingly young and afraid, and his resolve wavers, but he can feel the taint sliding underneath, calculated and carefully pitched. He tucks his knees up against his chest and tries not to be sick.

Merlin is close, so close to falling before the onslaught – Mordred shows it to him, vivid and real: Arthur crouched low in the shadows, sword drawn, desperate as he waits for his own men to hunt him down, Mordred helpless behind him; Mordred makes him feel it: the sense of being caged in, trapped, no way out, death bearing down with dread inevitability, black panic rising up to choke him, scalding in his throat. It almost drives him off the bed – Mordred’s just a child, and there’s the look on Arthur’s face, scared and alone and beginning to realise that Merlin isn’t coming; Merlin has abandoned him.

Merlin groans aloud but he can’t, he can’t let it happen any other way. He remembers the dragon’s warning, the gleam in reptilian eyes, deep voice scraping and shuddering in Merlin’s bones. Mordred will not be a boy forever, and he will kill Arthur. He will murder him. As much as it pains him to see Arthur like this, cornered and betrayed, it is nothing compared to the thought of him cold and still and dead, so Merlin doesn’t go. He pulls his blanket round and over himself, wrapping it over his head like a funeral shroud to blacken his sight as he wishes he could silence his mind, and lies down, curled tight, body so tense it aches. He squeezes his eyes shut and bites his lip until it bleeds, savours the taste of blood in his mouth to distract himself from the horror in his head. Merlin knows when the guards come; Mordred’s shriek when they touch him, drag him away, makes Merlin want to dig his fingers into his eyes, tear at his skin, scream and writhe just to make it stop; he whimpers and fists his hands in the sheets instead.

Mordred doesn’t stop. He is never silent. He huddles in his cell and he works at Merlin, works at unravelling him thread by thread. All through the night Mordred begs, ceaseless and insistent. He whines, pleads, cajoles, rages like a vengeful storm, whispers like the wind through the reeds, threatens and entreats. All night long Merlin lies awake and shakes, breaking by slow degrees with each passing second, every word a nail twisting in his flesh, deep and raw and bright with pain. His thoughts become twisted in the darkness, Mordred’s voice his only companion and nothing there to anchor him. He fears to move because he knows that if he unbends even for one single moment he will answer the call and Arthur will die. Not now, not yet, but one day, too soon, Arthur will die; Merlin stays very still and hums to himself as the tears spill from his eyes and prickle on his skin.

All through the night Merlin holds, and the next day he watches as Mordred’s head is parted neatly from his shoulders; the crowd does not cheer, but inside, in the shameful depths of his heart, Merlin does. He has bought Arthur’s life with the blood of a child. The knowledge boils in his gut, venomous and smothering, and Merlin loathes himself because all he can bring himself to feel is relief.

Comments

[thisissirius.livejournal.com]

ohmygod.

... powerful.

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Aha, my mind was firmly in the CRUSHING ANGST place for this one. Thank you, glad you liked it! ♥

[makeanewworld.livejournal.com]

This is amazing - angsty and intense. Interesting to think that this amost happened - would have, if Merlin was a little more hard-hearted.

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I love that episode so much because it could have happened, it was so close to going down that route (even though obviously it never would have in a million years) that it just filled me with twisted angsty joy, because I'm weird like that :p

[wickednotevil.livejournal.com]

Another way of putting it would be:
...Wow. You're so twisted ;P Like fluff would actually kill you

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Hey, I've written fluff! See that tag, right there? FLUFF! And it leads to a whole TWO stories (lol). I don't even HAVE an angst tag! ...I'm a little curious how I managed that, actually. Hmm. I should probably tag this as angst, because that is really all it is, and then the balance will be restored to nature! Or something.

[wickednotevil.livejournal.com]

Isn't it strange how, when you do click on your fluff, you end up with 'nearly porn' and Uther (which makes it porn by default)
Maybe you don't *need* and angst tag. People just assume it ;)

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Hey, porn can be fluffy too! Ahahaha, maybe I should put a warning on my journal: 'beware, all angst all the time unless tagged otherwise'. Though actually I've written crack and non-angsty porn and romance type things as well. I just, you know, occasionally throw in some character death/non-con/incest to make up for it. I call it balance.

[wickednotevil.livejournal.com]

If this is balanced, what does that make my lj?
Ah...love fluff. And crack. And happy romances. Merlin harlequin!romances, anyone?
Actually, your non-con incest was remarkably sweet for what it was. Not to mention *scorchingly* hot. Do love your porn, milady.

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Porn - what's not to love? But surely we need to re-think my title - if I can make a fivesome incestuous non-con orgy sweet then I must be like the least angsty person in the world! ...But let's face it, probably not.

I'm sure there's a Merlin harlequin comm. One sec... Damn. Couldn't find it. I could've sworn there was one.

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

NO,WAIT! harlequinmerlin I KNEW IT! *smug*

[wickednotevil.livejournal.com]

Really? I didn't know. Cool. Tell me when you find it? Love harlequin!AUs. Trashy and adorable, what more could one ask for?
I thinks it's my happy outlook on life. I can see the best in every fic- for ever death!fic, there is the possibility of reincarnation, every angsty het!ending has a secret slash love affair behind it.
So, you're angsty and I'm...not :)

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

I found it - I replied to my last comment so just check this fic post again (yes, I am too lazy to re-type the html). There's not much there right now but I'm sure it'll pick up, I mean it's Merlin harlequin FFS, how is that not awesome?

[wickednotevil.livejournal.com]

I saw :) It is awesome! Me and my huge stash of Mills&Boon are very happy.
And I'd join right now...but I feel guilty doing that and not posting. And I'm just not feeling terribly ficcy. Not to mention how most harlequins are...reasonably lengthy.
Plus, right now Mamma Mia's kicking my ass. Hey, at least I got Christmas (just about) done! Go me for semi-productivity!

[amaberis.livejournal.com]

Ooh, excellent. I'd love to see a follow-up to this, how it changes Merlin and Arthur's relationship.

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Hmm, I hadn't actually thought about continuing this, but maybe I will...

[luderbude.livejournal.com]

Oh, yummy angst. :) I really liked how you managed to show Merlin's anguish and finally his relief when Mordred's dead-great portrayal.Also, a great "what if" coda/AU for the episode.

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! I always wondered after that episode what would happen if things went the other way (and I'll take any thinly veiled excuse for angst ;p)

[doomcanary.livejournal.com]

... you're back then... :)

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

So it would seem. Ah, the familiar welcoming touch of angst.

[annephoenix.livejournal.com]

Hope it's OK I friended you -- will be catching up on fics as soon as I have a free minute :).

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Sure, no problem. Catch up at your leisure (god knows I'm so hopelessly far behind on my fandom reading :p)

[whirligigged.livejournal.com]

I only just watched this episode this afternoon, and cute as Mordred is...I WISH THIS HAPPENED. It was killing me inside, watching him walking away and Arthur having no idea, and worse, Merlin having an idea, of what's to come. This was absolutely great.

He huddles in his cell and he works at Merlin, works at unraveling him thread by thread.
The perfect line.

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

cute as Mordred is
But also it has to be said: CREEPY AS FUCK. The weird invasive telepathy and manifestation of violent symbolic mirror-shattering powers were trademark Signs of Obvious Ev0l, as was the long hooded cloak (seriously, only the morally suspect characters ever wear those, so you can conveniently spot them coming from a mile away).

But god, Arthur, ready to draw his sword on the castle guards to defend the boy who's going to kill him one day, completely unaware and Merlin's expressions of tortured agony trying to figure out what to do. Show, why must you do this to us?!

[tierfal.livejournal.com]

Oh, my GOD.

I don't think I can find words to do this justice -- it's just too amazing. So relentless, but you've got that slightly sinister aspect of Mordred down, and Merlin's dedication at all costs, and... just oh, my God.

Beautiful.

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it ♥

Mordred in that ep was just creepy as fuck. Kudos to that kid because he did an awesome job but he was so damn creepy! I would probably have chosen to let him die. *is callous and not overly fond of children creepy druids* Although, Arthur would not have been pleased at the betrayal and it would really have screwed their tentative friendship over. Poor Merlin - it really was a damned-if-you-do-and-damned-if-you-don't situation.

Anyway, yes, thank you - it's always nice to get random comments on old stuff (especially when it's gen that barely anyone actually reads in the first place ;p)

[tierfal.livejournal.com]

:D

I KNOW RIGHT. I spent the entire episode howling at the screen, to the effect of "Auuuugh, he's so CREEPY!" and "Don't listen to him! D:" XD I don't have anything about kids except for the ones whose scrawny little necks need breaking, but Mordred made lots of red lights go off in my head. XD

And you're totally right; Merlin was TRAPPED. :( Which, I think, was one of my favorite parts of this piece -- his decision that hurting Arthur now, and having to live with the results of having inflicted that, would be better than killing him later. Eugh. >.O

I love UST and porn and whatever else as much as if not more than the next fangirl, but I don't know what people have against gen. Usually, I think, it has to be more powerful, precisely because it doesn't have the relationship tension going for it. o_o

Anyway... you are awesome. 8D

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Seriously, not only does he LOOK like a crazed mass-murderer in the making (the unnervingly blue eyes! the slightly dark and sunken eye-sockets! the occasional evil glares of death!) but he then revels his creepy POWERS OF TELEPATHY and ability to BREAK THINGS WITH HIS MIND. What part of that makes him seem harmless and adorable?!

I love the odd piece of gen, especially nice, angsty gen, but I guess a lot of people just don't find it particularly interesting without the romantic aspects. It's a shame, because I think it really tends to get passed over in fandom.

Hee, thank you! I assure you my awesomeness is just a flimsy facade for my general failyness at life ;p

[tierfal.livejournal.com]

EXACTLY OMG. XD If they were trying to make him cute, they just FAILED. XD Kid makes me want to go hide under my rock again. XD

Very much so! I will refrain from boring you with detailed rants about the societal bias towards romantic connections and the ridiculous emphasis placed upon them at the cost of familial and platonic bonds. XD

...you just summed up my life philosophy, I think. 8D