like normal jam, only better
advent fic: day 1 
12 01 08
phantomjam: (Default)
Wooo, it's the first day of [livejournal.com profile] merlinadvent ! What better way to make the countdown to Christmas than with fic, lots and lots of fic! This would be my contribution to the first day. I have vague plans to try and get something up for each day, but likely I will fail miserably, so we'll see how it goes...

Title: A Discussion on the Breeding and Training of Horses
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Merlin/Arthur
Warnings: None
Spoilers: None (unless you weren't aware that Merlin and Arthur are having rampant sex against every available surface ;p)
Summary: Merlin has a rather negative impact on Arthur's conversational skills
A/N: Okay so this was written really hastily late last night, so apologies for any general sloppiness.

 

A Discussion on the Breeding and Training of Horses

Arthur pulls his chair in closer to the long feast table and adjusts his posture, slouching low. He props his chin in one hand, covering his mouth and pretends to concentrate on whatever the hell Lord Palsey is saying about his prize stallions, while in reality trying extremely hard to stop his eyes rolling into the back of head due to the way Merlin is sucking him off under the table.

‘What a fascinating breeding technique, we should try it here in our stables,’ Uther says, nodding at Lord Palsey; Arthur makes a strangled noise half way between a groan and a laugh, mind firmly in the gutter at this point. He feels Merlin pull back and chuckle softly against his skin, fingers stroking Arthur’s thighs.

‘What did you say, Arthur?’ Uther asks, raising one enquiring brow.

‘Er,’ Arthur glances between his father and Lord Palsey, both of them staring at him in polite interest, though his father’s gaze is perhaps tinged a little with warning. ‘I said,’ Arthur begins valiantly, but before he can formulate a suitable answer to the question Merlin sucks the head of his cock into his warm, wet mouth, tongue flicking across the slit, and Arthur begins desperately clearing his throat to keep from making some sort of utterly embarrassing noise.

‘I was just saying,’ he attempts once more, reaching for his goblet and taking a sip to cover his discomfort. Naturally Merlin, with an impeccable sense of timing, begins sucking harder, taking the whole of Arthur’s length into his mouth, swallowing him down. It feels incredible, pleasure spiking through Arthur’s body, muscles tensing; he starts choking on his wine.

This catches Morgana’s attention as well, and she turns from her conversation with a very austere-looking noblewoman, whose name Arthur has not the slightest chance of remembering at this moment in time, to regard him across the table with an amused smirk. ‘Having trouble?’ she asks, the picture of innocent curiosity.

‘I, that is, well...’ Arthur scrambles frantically for a response, but he can’t think of anything past the blood pounding in his ears and the pleasure coiling low in his belly, building and building as Merlin moves up and down his cock, tongue stroking against the underside, sucking steadily, bringing Arthur closer and closer to the edge.

Uther sighs at the head of the table. ‘Spit it out,’ he says, and Arthur launches into a fresh round of coughing. He can feel Merlin, the bastard, shaking with barely audible laughter between his legs, and the vibrations humming in the back of his throat are wreaking havoc with what few mental capacities Arthur has left. Uther’s brow climbs higher still.

Arthur takes a moment to steady himself and force his breathing under control; his eyes are rather wide and he can feel himself sweating. He opens his mouth, just waiting for Merlin to make some sort of unexpected move and is relieved when he doesn’t so much as break his rhythm, not that that is really any less distracting.   

By now Arthur and his strange coughing fits have become the centre of attention for a fair number of guests. He glances round at the expectant faces. ‘I said, ‘I agree’,’ he finishes lamely, although privately he thinks he deserves some kind of award for managing even that; Merlin is very, very good at this.

‘What an astute observation,’ Morgana remarks.

‘Thank you,’ Arthur bites off with a glare.

Morgana frowns. ‘Are you alright?’ she asks. ‘You’re looking a little flushed.’

Arthur nods tightly; Merlin pulls back once more, lets his teeth scrape lightly against Arthur’s cock, and Arthur closes his eyes, clenches his jaw until it hurts.

‘I’m fine,’ he squeaks, transferring his white-knuckled grip from the elaborately carved arm of his chair to Merlin’s head, burying his fingers encouragingly in the mop of dark hair, forcing Merlin to take him in again, wanting to end it quickly before he snaps.

Merlin digs his fingers into Arthur’s thighs and complies, working him in earnest now, head bobbing back and forth as he sucks and licks; it takes more self-control than Arthur’s even aware he has not to thrust into that delicious warmth.  The fact that he’s surrounded by all these oblivious people, completely unaware of what his manservant is doing to him, lends a forbidden thrill to his pleasure, and he twists his hands in Merlin’s hair, urging him on, faster, harder, until he’s right on the edge and it’s all he can do to keep himself from moaning Merlin’s name into the crowded hall. Merlin wraps a hand around the base of Arthur’s cock and squeezes as he pulls back to swipe his tongue across the head and then swallow it immediately back down again; it’s more than Arthur needs, and his entire body stiffens as he comes, biting down hard on his tongue.

He lets out a long breath and slumps bonelessly against the hard back of his seat, sated and spent. His hand slips down from Merlin’s hair to stroke his cheek, thumb trailing over his swollen lips to trace the self-satisfied grin Arthur knows is there. Merlin nips and licks at his fingers and Arthur can’t help keep a fond smile from his face, however much he plans to get revenge on Merlin later. He’ll need to devise a suitable punishment, preferably involving sex; lots of sex. And maybe some rope. He’ll have Merlin on his knees again, he decides, but this time he’ll make him beg.

When Arthur looks up, grinning madly, Morgana is staring at him bemusedly.

‘What?’ he asks.

Morgana shakes her head mutely, conveying in a single look the depth of her disdain for his idiocy. Arthur fights the urge to stick out his tongue at her, schooling his face to impassive dismissal. He turns back to Lord Palsey and his father; thankfully the conversation has moved on without him to the arena of horse-training.

‘I find,’ Palsey is saying, ‘that a true thoroughbred always performs better in front of an audience.’

Under the table Merlin sniggers.

 

Comments 
12 01 08 (UTC)
*giggles madly* SO HOT AND SO MANY DIFFERENT KINDS OF AWESOME!!! Totally justifies the shrine I may or may not have to you in the corner of my room.

LOVED the details in this - but especially the way the background conversation is so innocent but so... DIRTY. This is possibly one of the hottest blowjobs I've ever read about. ^_^ And in public too! So many kinks in one awesome story... *fangirl sigh*

Also, if I ask nicely enough, any chance of getting Arthur's Revenge, too? *hopes*
12 01 08 (UTC)
YAY OMG I FINALLY HAVE MY OWN SHRINE MY LIFE IS TOTALLY VALIDATED NOW
THANK YOU! ♥

Ahahaha yeah I have a bit of a tendency to go for the kinks ;p I'm glad it was hot 'cause for some reason I find writing blowjobs a LOT harder than writing normal sex (you know, like fivesome orgies and stuff, lol)

....it's possible I may be able to whip something up for you, though I can't make any promises about when that might happen. It's true, Arthur deserves a chance at some payback ;D
12 01 08 (UTC)
*grin*

i've decided i officially love Merlin advent if it means we get fic like this...hot and yummy, and brings a rather lovely image to mind.

thank you :-D
12 01 08 (UTC)
ADVENTPORN! \o/ Heating up the cold christmas days ;p
Thank you! :D
12 01 08 (UTC)
Hee! Hot! And fun! :D
12 01 08 (UTC)
Yay, thank you! ♥
12 01 08 (UTC)
Now this - this is what I'm talking about! Knew this comm was a good idea :)
12 01 08 (UTC)
This comm was an AWESOME idea ;p
Hee, glad you liked it :D
12 01 08 (UTC)
ext_18566: (Default)
this: WINS
12 01 08 (UTC)
Yay, thank you! :D
12 01 08 (UTC)
*fans self* that was HOT! I'm off to add it to my rec list right now ^_^
12 01 08 (UTC)
Hee thank you! Glad you liked it! ♥
12 01 08 (UTC)
HEE! Naughty and nice! :)
12 01 08 (UTC)
Just like the boys :p Glad you liked it!
12 01 08 (UTC)
oh dear god *goes to worship at the shrine xaritomene made* you are brilliant. I'm here quiely sniggering to myself, biting down on the cacking laughter that longs to break free and hoping noone asks what my merriment is all about! Again, you truly are brilliant :D
12 01 08 (UTC)
Ahahahaa thank you! I'm sure Arthur sympathises with your position ;p
12 01 08 (UTC)
*fans self* Wow! That was hot.

I find,’ Palsey is saying, ‘that a true thoroughbred always performs better in front of an audience.’

Adored your pay-off line! *g* Not that Arthur can be compared in any way, shape or manner to a horse!!!
12 02 08 (UTC)
Ahahaha, thank you! Glad you enjoyed it ♥
12 01 08 (UTC)
This is great merlin is so naughty hehehehehe.

I Think this is my favorite line hehehe

‘I find,’ Palsey is saying, ‘that a true thoroughbred always performs better in front of an audience.’

xxx
12 02 08 (UTC)
Merlin totally has a wicked streak when it comes to Arthur. ♥
Thank you! :D
12 01 08 (UTC)
HAHAHA!! OMG THIS WAS SO HOT! My mind has been turned into a puddle of mush, and I'm thinking I should really stay away from reading teh pron at work, but I just can't seem to help myself...

Really, just hot and wonderful and deliciously good!
12 02 08 (UTC)
But reading porn at work has such a delicious illicit thrill! Like writing porn in lectures :P

Thank you! :D
12 01 08 (UTC)
Complete and totaly awesomeness!

Merlin would sould/will('coz it's gotta happen someday!) totally do this! And the sniggering at the end! And the total hotness of it all! YAYZ!
12 02 08 (UTC)
Yep, in my personal canon this sort of thing happens all the time ;p How else does Arthur survive all those boring feasts?
Thank you! ♥
12 01 08 (UTC)
BLOODY HELL!! You really *are* better than Normal Jam ;)
12 02 08 (UTC)
Ahahaha, why thank you, I take that as a compliment of the highest order! ♥
12 01 08 (UTC)
*shrugs* Ah, what the hell *goes to worship, in a refined and understated way*
We're not worthy! We're not worthy!
12 02 08 (UTC)
YES, YES, BOW BEFORE ME PEON!! *cough* Whoops, bit of a power trip there ;p
Yays, the advent is fun! Not sure if I'll survive the whole thing but I intend to sally forth bravely and give a good accounting of myself :D
12 01 08 (UTC)
Now that's the way to start December!

awesomly hot stealth blowjob :-)
12 02 08 (UTC)
Ahahaha stealth!blowjobs FTW! \o/
Thank you! ♥
12 01 08 (UTC)
Ahahaha. Yes. This is the bit that can't be shown on BBC. Hehehehe. Awesome. :D
12 01 08 (UTC)
YOUR ICON IS SO HORRIBLY APPROPRIATE.
12 01 08 (UTC)
*GASP*

OMG SORRY FOR SHOUTING BUT EVEN CAPSLOCK CANNOT EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS. THE HOTTEST BLOWJOB I EVER READ. IN PUBLIC. OMG.

ANDVENTPORN FTW.
12 02 08 (UTC)
THANK YOU SO MUCH!
ADVENTPORN IS AWESOME, IT SHOULD BE A MANDATORY PART OF EVERYONE'S CHRISTMAS EXPERIENCE! :D
12 01 08 (UTC)
This is awesome. And hot. And awesome.
12 02 08 (UTC)
Heee, thank you :D
12 01 08 (UTC)
Oh poor Arthur! But lucky us to be given such a great fic. This was hot and hilarious. The innuendos laced perfectly with the sex. Loved this!
12 02 08 (UTC)
Ahahaha, he just got caught in the middle of a rather... unfortunate conversation ;D
Thank you! ♥
12 01 08 (UTC)
*whimpers*

There are no words to describe how HOT that was. *fans self*

So I was going to make some intelligent comment, but...yeah. Just love.
12 02 08 (UTC)
Mwahahahaa the porn is working!
Thank you! ♥
12 01 08 (UTC)
Jesus. *fans self* <333
12 02 08 (UTC)
Hee, the reaction I was hoping for ;p
Thank you! :D
12 01 08 (UTC)
OMG! This is so, so much fun! XD And the last lines are perfect. XD
12 02 08 (UTC)
Yay, thank you! The advent is such fun ♥
12 01 08 (UTC)
O.M.G.! That was soooooooooo hot! I love these calender things. I wish i could keep up with them to write them myself but i always run out of time!
You win hands down!

Two questions come to mind however.

1. How the hell is Merlin going to get out from under the table without anyone noticing? Especially Morgana, she's got eyes of a hawk that one.

2. The last comment suggests Arthur needs an audience to 'perform' at his best. Considering he wasn't doing the 'performing' as such would this entail voyerism later on. Votes for Gwen and Morgana (they're secretly Arthur/Merlin slash supporters ^_<)

Can't wait for what you'll do for tomorrow! I might die before the end of the advent!

You should so do the 'what comes next' though! or rather who *sniggers*
12 02 08 (UTC)
I've already promised someone a sequel involving Arthur's porny revenge ;p

1. Yeah I was wondering that myself. He's probably gonna be trapped there for the entire feast. It's all right though - I'm sure Arthur will feed him table scraps (while planning his elaborate revenge)

2. I was planning to make the revenge a private affair, but voyeurism works well too. Hmmm, we'll see where this goes...
12 01 08 (UTC)
Very well done!
12 02 08 (UTC)
Thank you! :D
12 01 08 (UTC)
You naughty, naughty, naughty person! More please!
12 02 08 (UTC)
Naughty but nice! ;p
I predict much more advent porn to come in the next few days, never fear ;D
Thank you! ♥
Page 1 of 2
<<[1] [2] >>
This page was loaded Mar 22nd 2026, 10:59 pm GMT.