Ficlet: Hopes Expired

[phantomjam]

Title: Hopes Expired
Rating: PG
Pairing: Gen (what? I can't help it, the gen keeps trying to lure me over, and I am weak!)
Warnings: None
Spoilers: For 1x09 'Excalibur'
Summary: Tristan is the last thing this is about

 

Hopes Expired

 

The Black Knight does not eat or sleep or breathe; he knows not life or warmth or mercy.

Arthur watches him. He sees failure. He sees inadequacy, a rising star burnt out. He sees Owain and Pellinor and Morgana’s favour red against the white sand, fluttering earthbound against the dust, the vibrancy of its hue dulled against the crimson life leaking away into nothing. The Black Knight’s stillness speaks to him of disappointed dreams and frustrated hopes.

Uther watches him. He sees Igraine behind that shuttered visor; he sees Nemesis. The two are one and the same. He sees the reaper, empty shell grinning up at him, Arthur cold and dead and never alive in the palm of his armoured hand. He sees a hunter, a hellhound unleashed to stalk him through the long corridors of his guilt. He watches the Black Knight and the monolithic face of his own grief stares back.

Nimueh watches him. She sees completion. She sees transformation. She sees injustice and justice both, twin faces twisted and rotten with years of festering decay. She sees the gaping void of past and present stretching forward step by step to devour the future, the manifestation of absences that should never have been. She has raised these aching bones, old grievances, chill from their tomb, and now she watches over them. Igraine she sees, but not Tristan; never Tristan.

Alone in the cold and the dark the Black Knight stands.

 

 

Comments

[xaritomene.livejournal.com]

Wow.

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Really? I was kinda worried that it might be a biiiit too far on the pretentious side. My gen always tends to the pretentious; it gives me trauma.

[nyaza.livejournal.com]

Igraine she sees, but not Tristan; never Tristan.
I really really enjoyed this. very nice work ♥ I loe how you composed it btw. <3333

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D
OMG I LOVE YOUR ICON!

[wickednotevil.livejournal.com]

I love how popular you are. It's like hanging out with the cool kids in school.
Very nice, dear. Filled with phrases I want to hoarde and snuggle up to. 'monolithic face of his own grief' is winning right now

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha! Lol, this is far more popular than I have ever been in my life.
You picked my personal favourite. I just really love the word 'monolithic' too. Nice and grandiose ;p

[ras-elased.livejournal.com]

OMG. I hardly ever read gen, but I did because it's yours, and now I'm SO GLAD I DID. Awesomecakes.

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I admit I have an odd thing for gen sometimes. I don't really understand why one of the gayest shows on TV inspires me to write gen but there we go. Guess I'm just perverse that way. ;D

[ad-exia.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. This was just... awesome. You packed a whole lot of punch into very few words. That was really well done.

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

[lackadaisydilly.livejournal.com]

Ooh, are we picking favourite sentences because this She sees injustice and justice both, twin faces twisted and rotten with years of festering decay is mine. I think because that sentence seems to sum up, despite their different reasons, how similar Nimueh and Uther's behaviour is and how neither one is right anymore. That may not be what you were trying to imply - I still like the sentence, however.

You are so talented!

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

That was what I was thinking, and how over the intervening years since Igraine's death their emotions have been warped far beyond their original intent, glad it got across.

Thank you! ♥

[miniminkie.livejournal.com]

Wow that was just wow

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Thanks! ♥

[girl-called-sun.livejournal.com]

I think I have to admit that I have a thing for gen, especially angst!gen, like this. It's dark and poignant, and I feel a little sorry for Tristan, by the end. Very, very good.

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Me too, love my angst!gen, especially future!angst!gen. I felt strangely sorry for Tristan in that ep because it was so focused on angsty Igraine-centric backstory and the threat to Arthur's life that there was no thought for Tristan as a character. It was kinda sad.

Thank you!

[thisissirius.livejournal.com]

Amazing!

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D

[andthedescent.livejournal.com]

Oh angsty gen-fic, how I love you!

I can't pick a favourite part, it was all so good. But I really liked "stalk him through the long corridors of his guilt".

And now you are making me feel sorry for Tristan! He's so used by Nimueh. Poor, scary, undead man *grin*

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

With you all the way on the angsty gen love. Poor Tristan, no one cares about him except as a villain. And then they made him an orc when they took his helmet off and exploded him in very bad special effects. Poor guy. ;D

Thank you! ♥

[fortassetu.livejournal.com]

*dies*

*is dead*

I echo xaritomene here, this is just wow.

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

*resurrects*

Thank you! :D

[themirrorofsin.livejournal.com]

Oh that was excellent! Espically the points of view you put forward. Really well portrayed I think!
♥

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Thank you! ♥

[doomcanary.livejournal.com]

I no understand that. *d00m is stupid*

But it's good.

It makes me think "prose poetry"; it's stream-of-consciousness, the shit people really have in their heads. And that stuff *doesn't* make sense.

[insert huge rant about my linguist nature and how writing is a form of translation and most of the reason I hate litfic is that it's labelling FAIL at the basic job of translation as success and did I mention I totally get what you mean about sitting around in a classics tutorial shouting stupid jokes nobody else would understand and PYSLing, because that is what life is FOR, I just do it about culture and fanstuff and my own stupid brain-injokes, not Latin.]

But it's still good.

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Woah you do not realise how much self-control it took not to reply to this comment in capslock mode having just read your bad!fic o'doom. *tries to engage actual brain*

So yeah, thanks, I think? Did I hit a literary nerve?

*amused at the insert-a-rant*

[shuralove.livejournal.com]

"..............................."

the sound of me losing the power of speech which is a rare thing indeed.

wonderful use of language.

i'm dreading when i find myself with no more of your writing to read ;s

x x x

[phantomjam.livejournal.com]

Hee, thank you! I guess I'll just have to hurry up and write some more ;D